For the past couple of months and especially the past one week, I have been breaking down into tears sporadically because I've been feeling extremely down and stressed about my university applications. My mind has been filled with confusion, and my heart, with worry and doubt. 1.) Because of the GPA complications, 2.) because HELP is not offering many subjects relevant to my major this semester, which will greatly slow down my transfer, and 3.) because I panic at the thought of not getting accepted into the uni of my choice.
Although I know in my mind that God is in control and that He will lay it all out for me step-by-step (as He always does), believing it in the midst of my doubts is a completely different thing. Shame on me for always worrying, when I've tasted and seen how God has always been so good to me! Alas, I am only human - not perfect, but still working on fully letting go of my troubles and trusting Him to help me work it out. However, when I read Psalm 37 yesterday, these verses (5, 6 and 34) really comforted me:
Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
Wait on the LORD, and keep His way,
And He shall exalt you to inherit the land;
Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
Wait on the LORD, and keep His way,
And He shall exalt you to inherit the land;
So, instead of just knowing that God is for me (thus, why should I fear?), I am claiming His promises in Jesus' name. I will embrace His plans and put my trust in Him as I continue to do my part in working on my applications. It's very difficult, but I will rest in Him and just really trust Him to place me where He knows is the best. But because God's cool like that, I know He will grant me the desires of my heart if it's inline with His plans.
I started working on my applications last night. I made a checklist, talked to a whole lotta people (thanks for all your help, guys!) and continued my already on-going research. Of course, I'm still whining and worried, but s'okay, God listens anyway. But this time, I'm putting my full trust in Him.
Today I received a very sweet and encouraging e-mail that boosted my low spirits - it was from Shuang and she gave me a Bible verse that fueled my day. She also attached an image (as above) and took the effort to put my name there! Though in the midst of completing her assignment, she still listened to my troubles and took time to do something small but encouraging for me. Thank you, love! These are the little acts of kindness that really touches my heart. I'll learn from that.
This is huge, God - it's my future! I can't handle this on my own. You're the best for sticking by me. Hold my hand and walk me through, Heavenly Daddy?
xx
photo source unknown
Oh wow looks like you have had some heavy duty thinking and it's so great that you are really trusting God with this. It can be so hard sometimes I know and it's so great to see that amount of trust you have. Very inspiring! I truly hope it all works out and you get into the uni of your choice (hopefully UQ lol). I will email you back soon. I realised you asked a uni question. Eeepp!
Take care and keep trusting and believing in God! xx
Hey, dont worry about tmr. Tmr has its own worries. Live day one day at a time, and I know our always, always faithful God will bring you through. <3